I know it sounds awful, but I have started to dread her calls – I’ve got a boyfriend, a busy job and I just don’t have the time to listen to her anymore
I have a lovely friend who I’ve known for 10 years after we worked together.
She’s really sweet and would do anything for anyone.
But she’s never met a long-term partner.
She hates her job and she has a lot of problems with her family.
She calls me almost every day and talks endlessly about all her problems – the fact that she can’t find anybody, the fact that her mum has treated her badly yet again and all sorts of other stuff.
I know it sounds awful, but I have started to dread her calls.
I’ve got a boyfriend, a busy job and I just don’t have the time to listen to her anymore.
She has all these dramas going on in her life and she wants to tell me about every little detail, but the sad truth is that I have just stopped caring.
How can I tell her this without ruining our friendship?
This is a really difficult situation because she sounds so vulnerable. But this isn’t your problem.
We’ve all had friends like this – they drain you, suck the life out of you and are utterly exhausting.
It’s especially annoying because these friends tend not to ask you how you’re feeling – it’s all about them.
And even when you offer good advice they rarely take it.
It sounds like she needs to see a counsellor and I wouldn’t be afraid to tell her this.
Say it in a nice way so she doesn’t take offence.
Just say: “Look, I don’t think I’m the best person to help you with all your problems.
“Perhaps you should speak to a counsellor?”
Then suggest she goes to see her GP. If she carries on burdening you with all her troubles, then you need to use tough love and tell her what you’ve told me.